Check archive for rarity of rant posts.

Okay lets do this before the moment passes. This post is inspired by another blogger's recent post, plus the side effect of first day period. A rant of thoughts and facts to put out there before they make me sick.
So was thinking, wouldn't it be great if you look at yourself in the mirror everyday and smile because you like what you see? That you can find nothing wrong with yourself today and you just grin for no reason. I don't have those days often. But when I do it feels really good.
Okay just to put this out earlier, I am a bad communicator. Most people don't get what I'm trying to say most of the time. I have the idea in my mind very clearly but when I try to convey the message out to others, my sentence just don't make sense. Maybe it's because I don't practice talking enough.
Which brings us to the next fact that I live alone. I am alone most of the time. I can go for one whole day without meeting a soul or speaking a word to anyone. So there goes my language skills down the drain. Ever since the family moved to Johor a couple of years ago. It was honestly really hard to cope with in the beginning but I acted like I was fine like I always do. It's different if you're the one who moved out because you'll always have a home to go back to. For me, I AM at home. Just that there's no one to share it with. It's not all negative though. Its kinda cool to have peace and quiet ME time whenever I want. Do whatever I want. Wake up what time I want. Do or NOT do housework whenever I want. But then...all this would never make up for the times when mommy wakes me up gently in the mornings to go to school. Not always gently la...see mood. Sometimes just shout or bang on the door loudly. Daddy, coming back from work and we would all scream like little girls"DADDY!!!!" because mommy told us to la...then he straight away ask me:"Have you showered yet??!!" I have no idea why. Maybe I always looked dirty?? My 2 little sisters being brats that they are fighting about every little insignificant thing making the house a house of war! And even Diana, always having everything HER way or NO WAY! yups....I miss my family. I miss the noise. I miss being annoyed. I miss my family. I don't want to live alone.
I really like crazy people. Those really "out there" but in a funny way la...Not being afraid to show who they are. Always the same no matter who they're with. Loud and obnoxious. Say the funniest most nonsense things that don't make sense. Bimbo-ish but never admits it. Talks a lot so that I don't have to. Just plain krazy. These people are rare but precious to me. Maybe because I'd look more decent standing next to them? NAH! Truth is, they are the people I want to be! And sometimes when I am brave, they let me join in the fun with them.
I am not an ambitious person. Will get idea's now and then. Then will tell myself yes I will be like this or that! then the next day have no recollection of anything whatsoever and continue living as if the thought was never even conceived.
But then, my God...is amazing. This is a testimony. I have fantasies and elaborations in my head about what I want and who I want to be. I do it for fun la thinking it will NEVER EVER EVER happen in my life. Then after a while, it could be months or years after, slowly almost everything that I ever wanted or fantasised about, God gave to me. They just slowly one by one landed on my lap! I couldn't believe it! I have to remember to be thankful to God and just enjoy my life. I am blessed. Really. I just have to know it.
Talking about being unambitious, I'm thinking about just giving up this post right about now! BUT. i won't la...
I don't talk much. haha...I think half of the people I know will agree. And the other half disagree. Was talking about this with a friend recently also ler. That with different people, you act differently. Generally in a group, if there's already a extrovert(loud, talkative, friendly) person, you who are normally an extrovert will become an introvert.(quieter,observant) We think this is because it would make the situation quite competitive between the extroverts. So yeah, I'm an occasional extrovert.
As you all know. I don't express myself often. Dunno why la...aiyah if wanna know have to go back to when I was a child which is very long ago which will make this an even more ah mah story than it already is. Thoughts need to be expressed. Especially when they're important ones. I have a bad habit of brushing things off until things blow over. But in between the time will secretly suffer like mad with the thoughts. I dislike confrontation if you don't already know. I know they're necessary if you want progress but I'm a chicken.
I like to play dress up. Or down. I just like to dress for the occasion.
I am quite annoyed my my hair right now. cos it sticks out everywhere when I wake up in the morning. *edited*stoooopid raymond........note to self *never stray from trusted saloon "Massa" in Johor.*
I actually didn't know exactly why I choose the course I doing now which is Montessori Pedagogy. I always thought I was going to hate being a teacher, the kids will drive me crazy. But I haven't even taught a child in my life until last Sat where i spent only a few minutes teaching a 6 year old and a 10 year old english tuition. I actually enjoyed it. A moment of realisation there. Like one of those "DING!" light bulb turning on moment. Yup. I've had one. Finally.
I miss my digital camera. I miss it. Even though I hardly used it before........i just miss it lah!
I know I have more to write but the initial motivation not that strong already~how?
Oh yeah, just remembered. I miss hanging out with the big group. With all the different characters around, having so much fun without a care in the world it seems. I miss everyone.
I want a scooter.*fantasising*
I love lomography.
I can't understand how people can have millions of friends while I can only handle a few at a time?
I spend too much time on the internet. With my MSN in apear offline mode. Looking through facebook and blogs. I turn on the tv for background sound. To make the house sound less quiet.
I hate being alone. I love being alone. I want to meet new people. I hate making friends. macam mana?
This is a rant. Done ranting. Cause I can't remember what I wanted to write about just now.
If you read everything I wrote, WOW! Cause if I see a long wordy post on blogs, I skip them.

ok bye!